I was nervous about going (as I have been in the last year or so with Anxiety) I am afraid I will get sick to my stomach and not be able to make the 8 hour drive down. Or afraid I will be trapped in some way. My anxiety has shown all its colors in the last few years! Anyway, I have been struggling with the strangest neck / throat pain in the last few months. I have had many tests, scans, doctor appointments and the only thing they can tell me is it could be stress; but at times I feel like I am choking, or my throat is closing. It drives me nuts!
What I noticed even though I was nervous about going to Maryland, once I got there, and was at the drag strip, my pain/discomfort was GONE!
I am and have always have been so passionate about racing, and this event was second to none. So it was worth going on this trip just for that. When I don’t constantly think about how much my neck situation bothers me, it goes away. Which leads me to believe it is stress. I currently have a job with a lot of down time. I should be grateful, because it leaves me time to do things like blog and read, but it also allows my mind to go bizerk!
So lesson two lessons learned.
#1 – Drag Racing is still my #1 Passion, I can feel it in my heart and soul. Nothing compares to it, even when I just have to spectate.
#2 – I still have a lot of work to do on my thoughts.
I have made progress; and I journal/tell myself that all the time. I believe my level of anxiety is much lower than it used to be, and I am responding instead of reacting.
The other thing about my job is, the people I work with are a little lazy and dysfunctional. And if I am not careful, I focus on it, it drives me nuts and I feel worse. I need to keep my focus on my dreams, goals, and what I am grateful for. I am not even sure what kind of work I want to do, although I would love to help other people some how, through my struggles.